I was honored to be a part of the Mended Launch Team with Blythe Daniel & Helen McIntosh this Spring. Mended was a positively wonderful read. This mother-daughter duo inspired and encouraged me daily while providing amazing tools to restore & rebuild the mother-daughter relationship.
The beauty of this book is that the advice and encouragement applies to ANY relationship in your life. You will truly walk away better equipped as a wife, mom, friend, co-worker, & follower of Christ. You will be able to lovingly pour into the relationships that God has placed into your life by following the wise advice of these ladies.
Blythe & Helen provide relationship conversation starters, biblical insight & wisdom, and real-life lessons learned from the personal experiences that shaped both of them. Each chapter invites you to break down barriers and rebuild a solid foundation for a beautiful relationship with your mother or daughter that thrives & flourishes.
As both a mother and a daughter, I was able to read from both perspectives and come away with something new each time I picked up the book. My favorite chapter was the one labeled, “Being Right or Being Closer: Relationship Above Differences.” Helen writes, “Releasing your need to be right in order to reconnect to your mother or daughter is key.” She shares one of her favorite relational sayings: “What I want is a good relationship, and you are more important to me than this problem/this difference of opinion/this snag.”
I found this profound and convicting. How often do I let my own selfish pride of being “right” get in the way of simply loving someone? Too often. Releasing that control and surrendering your pride at the foot of cross will allow true forgiveness, love, & grace to fill your heart and brim over into the relationships in your life.
I am blessed to have a close relationship with my mom and I hope to share that same closeness with my little girl as she gets older but there are always ways I can grow and strengthen our relationship. This book helped me realize some of those areas that I needed to spend time investing in and strengthening.
One of the most valuable lessons I learned and plan to utilize was a “conversational sandwich” that Helen as a counselor introduces in the chapter “Words That Can Bring You Back Together”:
“I long for a great relationship with you (top bun). Even though we have/share some real concerns (hard middle), I believe we can begin some repairs and make things better (bottom bun)…what do you think we need to do to make things better?”
Helen goes on, “A valuable takeaway is that we need to say something positive before we share our concerns. Moreover, it’s important to ask permission to share our concerns!” What a loving and honoring way to introduce restoration within any relationship.
These beautiful women are passionate about breaking unhealthy thought patterns and generational strongholds in order to bring about restoration and reconciliation. Helen writes, “…the key to overcoming strongholds is bringing every thought captive. A stronghold is a worn place of defeat. When you entertain a thought or act it out and start living with it at the center of your life, it becomes a stronghold…..God’s goal for us is freedom.”
Are you ready to start walking in that freedom? To break free from any strongholds that currently trap you and say “yes” to the kind of mother-daughter relationship that God desires for each and every one of us? A beautiful relationship that is rooted in Him and begins to grow and bloom?
Blythe & Helen wove the John 15 passage into their book which of course is a theme near & dear to my heart: “John 15:5 is the classic word picture showing the beauty and rest available in our relationship with God. It says, ‘I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.’….John 15 looks at resting in Jesus, and John says twice in this passage, ‘Love one another’. The secret to loving is abiding in Him.”
In order to truly love, we must stop our striving and simply rest in God’s arms, embrace the freedom that Christ offers us, and allow the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts & minds. Love will be the fruit that follows this act of surrender. Love will begin to weave its way naturally into every relationship in our life, including that with our mother and/or daughter.
Blythe sums up the book perfectly with this powerful message, “The process of mending your heart with your mother’s or daughter’s is the result of the time you have pressed into loving her not for who she is but who she is becoming.”
Oh, if we all could just offer that kind of grace and understanding to the mothers and daughters in our lives. What beautiful restoration we would see!
Blythe & Helen weave humor, heartbreak, & honesty throughout each page of “Mended”, creating a beautiful message of hope for all that desire to restore the precious mother-daughter relationship. With Mothers Day approaching, I highly recommend gifting this treasure to someone dear in your life and snagging a copy for your own personal library!
**GIVEAWAY OPPORTUNITY: I’m giving away a FREE copy of this book – learn more HERE!